My mothers day

Spoke to my dad finally he sounds good, man I miss my old man wish he was closer but one of my goals for this year was to reconnect with people I had not been in touch with for a long time because I didn’t want to be one of those people that said ” I wish I would have told him/her…..” from now on we have a Saturday night date, no more going years without talking to him. I also spent mothers day with my daughter, something that I had not been able to do in years as well, I know next year she wont be here which made today that much more special. We had a great day, farmers market, mall, grocery shopping ( saw the bestie Bito-Felix Avila and it was not planned lol ) then dinner with the in-laws who I had not seen in a long time as well. Now just relaxing. I had a great day! Hope everyone is having as good a day as me

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Mother to Mother

I wish I had enjoyed all the mothers days I had you by my side

now you are so far

I wish I would have taken the time to sit and talk to you for just a little while

I wish I would have known that the quite days you were hurting

I wish I would have known what I know now

I wish I would have listened more, loved you more and been there more

I wish I would have helped you more instead of complaining all the time

I wish I would have been more present

I wish I would have taken the time to think before I spoke sometimes

for that and so much more I’m sorry

on this mothers day I want to let you know this simple message

you in so many ways through your anger and pain

have helped me survive to this day

the things you told me that seems like I didn’t care about

have never been said in vain

I listened mom, quietly and those things I did not get

well I get it now

I get that a mothers love is unconditional

I get that a mother is like a lion that will pounce at anyone who wants to hurt her cub

I get that a mothers love lives anywhere their children may be

I have been in your place now

I have been apart with a broken heart

I will be there again

but just like you I will make sure she knows she is loved

no matter how far she is and no matter how many miles away she is

she knows I will always be here and that no matter what

she makes me proud

she is older now, but still holds back and may not understand

but like me sometime in the future

my hope is that all I have taught her

all I have said she will remember just like me and one day say… mom I understand

my hope on this day is for you mom to have a blessed day

I know I am far, but I am only a call away

I hope you have an incredible mothers day

because you deserve it !

@/—– Love your daughter —–\@

Sometimes life is hard

Sometimes I say why is life so hard

why all the worries, stress and tears

why all the anger, pain and fears

sometimes I say why is life so hard

why all the discrimination, bullying and stupid shit

yea life is hard and unfortunately it doesn’t come with a manual

you write that manual your whole life

first with that innocent heart

then with that angry heart

with that content heart

and with a broken heart

there is no easy test to pass nor is there an easy way out

although most think there might be

just be truthful to yourself and the rest will write itself

good things come to those who wait???

maybe so, but at the end once the wait is over its up to you to keep what you have long waited for

once that long awaited price at the end of the rainbow comes

its up to you to make sure the rainbow doesn’t fade

sometimes, most of the time life is hard

just learn from it, learn to live with it or learn to leave it alone

it is still your manual to write

its like music without lyrics

its like a song without words

just live your life to the fullest those who care

will join you and those who don’t wont

its simple…

sometimes life is hard because

you allow for those hard times to manipulate your future

you don’t trust because they hurt you

then why do you hurt the one who trusts in you?

you don’t like the way they look at you

then why do you look at them at all

you don’t like what they are saying

then why do you listen at all

sometimes life is hard

but you feed from it

and that doesn’t make it better

you only make life harder for you

because at the end of the day

those who looked at you a certain way don’t remember even looking at you

those who said something that ruined your day don’t remember what they said

so care enough for yourself to not let those people add to your hard life

yes sometimes life is hard…. but just make the best of the good things in life and

everything else will dissipate

Finally

It looks like its finally going to be nice outside for a couple of days here at home. I was kind of over the cold weather, time to dust off the sneakers and bring out the bikes and have some much needed outside time. It has been a busy couple of weeks both at home and at work but i’m looking forward to doing some fun stuff. Hope everyone is having a great week and an even better weekend.

The storm

Its raining outside

the birds are still singing tho

it looks dark but peaceful at the same time

the noise the rain makes when it hits the side of my window is calming

no thunder this morning, but last night was crazy

spring showers spring showers send some more rain

give life to these trees and beautiful flowers that are now dead from

this cold winter we went through

tonight SNOW again!

sometimes I wonder why so many storms

so much crazy weather ?

what is happening, what is coming

will the next storm be bigger than life?

and if so, are you ready?

 

Since my last post….

It feels like forever since the last time I was on here. I have been so busy with work and school that sometimes I feel like I am way over my head. I have had more down days than up days just because my heart wants to be home with my husband and daughter rather than at school, and I often find myself in class just wanting to get up and leaving. I know that this degree will help me move up in my position greatly and I will at some point be able to work an early shift, not go to school and be home more often; however, until then I see that they hate it ( they don’t say that but I can feel it). I need to learn how to use my time wisely, how to make time to finish what I need and have more free time with them. I know that I am probably not the only person feeling like this in my classes as everyone works and I am sure some have wife’s, husbands and kids to get to and that they rather be with them as well but we all have the same goal to better ourselves to better our life’s. Its going to be a long road but I hope that they continue supporting me in this journey and that they know that my intentions are not simply getting out of the house as they may think, because again, I rather be there than here.  But the goal is to graduate, move up and be happy TOGETHER. I hope everyone has had a great couple of days and keep doing what your doing, only you know your goals and aspirations so go for it. I am not saying it will be easy but it will eventually pay off.  

Save-the-day Mango Dessert

I love mangos I have got to try it!

onesmallpot

Right, so you finally got your act together and invited those friends over for dinner.

You know the ones…..

They are invited to every birthday of yours, and you to theirs.  And each time you see them, there are promises that you must catch up properly soon, that it’s been far too long and that you really shouldn’t let that much time go by before you see each other next.

But somehow as earnest and genuine all these promises are, before you know it six months have gone by before you finally do get around to inviting them over.

So the day arrives and you have this menu of mammoth proportions planned in your mind.

You jump out of bed, bright eyed and bushy tailed (ok, so in my case it’s usually a reluctant and creaky scramble out of bed after at least 3 hits of the snooze button, but…

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“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

Orecchiette with Zucchini

Delicious new recipes …

onesmallpot

Orchiette1

A holiday on the other side of the world is all well and good, but then there’s the jetlag to contend with.  Currently, sleeping through the night is somewhat of a challenge and staying awake at work is only achieved with multiple cups of coffee and not allowing myself to sit down for too long, anywhere.  These are the times that I am thankful that I do not have a desk job.

Orchiette4

Gradually, my brain is convincing my baffled body that night is day and day is night.  Is it just my imagination that this transition gets more challenging the older I get?

The plus side to being wide awake against my will at some unearthly time is that it gives me a few unaccounted for hours with which to do things.  My hunger pangs led me to trawl through the pantry before the sun was even up and…

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